Because of Jesus

Bienvenidos!! I continue to pray that this blog would be a blessing to the readers and that God's faithful love and goodness would be on display.

My blog posts will generally be posted every other week. That is my goal, but life happens and that is not always possible. 

5 1/2 weeks! Wow! How has it been that long? At the same time, how has it only been that long? The best way to describe the passing of time here from my perspective is that the days drag on but the weeks fly by. It is hard to believe that September is almost done. It is difficult to describe but the longer I am here, the less I remember life before this. It is almost like the demands of life here capture all of my attention and push out thoughts of life before Bolivia. I'm not saying that I have forgotten everything about the United States, and I still get very homesick at times, but perhaps my brain has shifted into "Bolivia mode."

Church at Familia Feliz

Zeinet, my youngest

An aspiring gymnast?

Dianara helping to prep arepas

Mariana loves to put flowers in my hair at church. 

Justin and Selim were matching.

They'll eat the lemons plain here.

Soap mustaches...

...and beards!

Nirza :)

I'm going to start by saying very plainly that I believe the spiritual warfare here has been extra intense this week. Last week had some of the best days I've experienced here. However, this week has brought challenge after challenge that have tried my patience and forced me to lean into Jesus more and more. There are countless things to pray about, but right now I ask that you would ask God to give Lauren and me extra wisdom in addressing the way that the girls interact with each other. They seem to be constantly fighting, especially at meal times. It is very stressful as they get each other riled up. It is hard to address the problem when we cannot always understand what they're saying. And it's never just one of them that is in the wrong. Sometimes they seem to gang up on one of the other girls. They're just so mean, and I don't know how to get through to them. When they're all mad at Nirza (probably my most difficult girl who resorts to violence when she's not happy), it's pretty scary, because I don't know if it'll end with me needing to restrain her from hurting others. She's also only five, so I can't understand why my 8-12 year old feel the need to bully her. They're a bunch of traumatized and sinful kids who need Jesus to change their hearts. The weight of establishing a more peaceful living environment in my home is weighing heavy on my heart right now. I pray God will give me wisdom and words to be consistent in addressing these issues. I would appreciate if you prayed with me to that end.

Tooth brushing party

Dianara and Leonardo after Friday night worship

Promoting good oral hygiene!

Lots of handstands

My Nirza <3

Relaxing in Teacher Lauren's chair

Talent!!

Drinking semola through her straw

In addition to the draining weight of determining the course of action in correcting the speech of my girls, I am sick. A few other SM's here are also dealing with various sicknesses. I started to feel really faint yesterday afternoon so I rested for a bit before continuing to help with the never ending tasks around the house and questions/issues from the girls. I kept stumbling, though, and feeling like I was going to fall over, so I decided to rest for a bit in my room. 

In the mean time, Dianara was giving Lauren a lot of trouble. She wasn't doing her basic chores, and she wanted to go with the other girls, who had finished their chores, over to the Lilas house to play and prep the pizza toppings for the birthday party. (We were having a joint party at the Lilas house since there was a birthday in my house and theirs this week.) She was informed she had to fold her clothes correctly before going over. She was mad and informed us she would not be doing that. This lasted over an hour as she whined and walked around inside and outside of the house--one time even starting to walk over to the Lilas until Lauren saw and called her back. Lauren and the other girls needed to go over to the Lilas, though, and we were not going to back down on our expectation for Dianara. So we brought Dianara in our room to wait with me until she was ready to obey. She was looking for a fight, but I wouldn't give it to her. I was feeling progressively worse as I sat in front of the door in a chair waiting for her to be ready. Thankfully, as a 9 year old, she has a little more respect than my sometimes out of control 5 and 6 year-olds, so she didn't try to get physically violent with me. She tried to get at the door and she was pulling at the handle a lot, but she hardly touched me. I didn't have the energy for anything more than sitting in that moment, so I'm glad for the blessing of being able to just wait her out.

After almost 2 hours of sitting there, during which she whined, cried, took the box of math flashcards (among other things) she found on the floor and spread them around the room, told me I didn't love her, told me God didn't love her, and thought of every excuse she could not to obey, she finally decided she was ready. While I was sitting there feeling so incredibly hot and achy, I prayed out loud for her (in English since my Spanish isn't good enough yet), quoted Psalms I had memorized, sang to her, and read to her out of my Spanish Bible. I was determined not to yell and give her the fight she wanted and just wait her out peacefully. She was annoyed by that, but I told her what she had to do before she could go to the Lilas, which included cleaning up the mess she made in my room while she was mad. She finally caved, cleaned up the mess, had a talk with me, apologized to Teacher Lauren, folded her clothes, and showered (since by the time she decided to obey, it was almost 6pm and she was the last one who needed to shower). She was then able to go to the Lilas to hang out before the birthday party.

I was feeling horrible by this time but thankful for the strength God gave to wait out Dianara and her bad, stubborn attitude for almost 2 hours. We couldn't find our thermometer, though, so Lauren felt my forehead with her hand. I wasn't surprised that her hand felt really cold against my head. I was burning up. She asked Aiden to bring over some ice/frozen veggies to cool me down. *Reminder: There is no AC at Familia Feliz and the last few days have been getting above 100 degrees with a high UV index as well. Chronic dehydration is real for all of us. I had a 103.1 fever, so I took some Tylenol, rested, took a cold shower, and went to bed. By that time, it had come down to 101.6. I struggled to fall asleep, since I was so hot, but I was able to eventually sleep some. My fever spiked again during the night, but it has since come down some. I still have a fever right now, but I'm able to be resting in town as it is my day off. Being sick here is not easy, but it is amazing to see God taking care of each of us through the people he sends to help. Sophia is such an amazing nurse! I couldn't ask for a better group of SM's to serve with here.

It is now evening and I wrote the previous paragraph this morning. I have since gotten blood tests, and been diagnosed dengue fever. I do not have many more details as only time will tell how the sickness progresses. I will include updates about it in my next blog post, but in the mean time, your prayers for a speedy and safe recovery are greatly appreciated.

Dianara before she decided to obey

When she finally decided to obey :)

Conquistadores

Standing on the table to see if my girls were in their proper beds upstairs

Dianara having fun prepping the salad with me :)

This barrel really provides never-ending entertainment

Combing Nirza's hair

Bar soap cameras!

I have no idea how the baby got in the barrel :/

<3

Princess Zeinet

Journal Entry 9/23/24

"It's been way too long since I've journaled, and I'm so far behind. The last week has had the best days here so far as well as some of the hardest. The weather has been getting hotter, and it feels like an inescapable sauna. I'm trying not to think about the fact that this is not actually that hot compared to what it will be in the coming months. The heat did, however, give us an opportunity to do something different and fun with the girls. Because they were hot and bored, we put a bunch of water in a trash can/bucket and put it out in the yard for them to play with. It turned into a water fight that Lauren and I joined. Since it's hard to find the time and energy to play with the girls a lot because of all that is required for cooking the food, cleaning the house, and correcting bad behavior, I was so thankful for the opportunity to interact with them in a fun and special way. We had a blast. Everyone was laughing, running around, and throwing water on each other. We all got soaked. It was so refreshing. It cooled me off and gave my heart new life. I was still tired, but it was so fun! Because they were all wet, they decided to all just wash their hair in the laundry sinks behind the house instead of in the shower. That was also a blast as they filled the sinks with water, the little ones even climbing in like it was a bath tub. It all just felt so perfect. There wasn't any fighting. Everyone was happily having a good time. It is my favorite memory since being here."

I got to the end of this day and was doing some reflective thinking. It had been such a good day, and I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God. It is so easy, at the end of a day filled with so much joy, to be full of gratitude and extra thankfulness for who God is. However, God was not any more good on that day than He is on the days it seems every single one of my girls woke up on the wrong side of the bed and remained that way all day long. He was not more faithful on that day than He is when I feel like I can't get out of bed for fear of a situation I won't know how to handle. He was not more loving on that day than days that I struggle to see Him working. He is always the same. He is always good. And even though I had an especially good day, I was reminded of the consistency of God's character and His equal goodness on the much harder days as well.

After the water fight

Mis chicas mojadas

Laundry sink bathtub

Soap and smiles

Refreshed from the water

Teacher Aiden sharing his binoculars

"Teacher Jayden!!"

Yay! Cornbread!

Dianara and Ticiane (sisters)

A happy day!

Journal Entry 9/23/24 (continued)

"On the same day as the water fight, Pinkie had gotten mad about something, so I had been holding her on my lap for her to calm down. After finally calming down, listening, and figuring out the problem, she fell asleep on my lap with her arms around me. Even though I'm not much of a physical touch person (I've had to get over that a lot here since these girls love hugs and are always wanting to climb on us), I loved every second of getting to hold my always active, precious Pinkie on my lap while she peacefully slept. It's moments like those that heal my heart and give me a fresh perspective and renewed energy and motivation to keep going."

Sleepy Pinkie

She's so cute!

Love them!

Groceries were gotten!

Nirza and her "rana"

Stuck in the bucket

"Last night was a crazy and scary night. Four of the Lilas girls snuck out of their house, but I was the one who discovered them. I had been sitting in my bed responding to people on my phone. It was just before 11pm and I was about to go to bed. I looked up and saw what looked like a little girl's face at my window. I was startled and looked closer. Maybe it was just the laundry I had hung in my window to dry. But then it was moving along my window. That's when I jumped out of my bed. Was one of my girls outside at night? How could they have gotten out without me noticing when the door makes such a loud grinding noise when it opens? I ran outside and around to the side of my window with my weak phone flashlight. I didn't see anyone but heard quick movement/footsteps rustling the leaves and plants in the trees nearby. I couldn't see very well, though, because of very little light and no glasses or contacts. Trying not to freak out, I ran into the house to see who was missing. All the littles were in their room downstairs. I ran upstairs and was overwhelmed with relief to find all of my other six girls upstairs. After grabbing my glasses, I headed back outside to check again. I didn't see anyone, so I called Matthew, wondering if one of his boys had snuck out, considering they had an issue with that a couple weeks ago. All his boys were at his house, but he came over to help look for the kid with his strong flashlight. [While waiting for Matthew I saw a kid run across the yard from the trees near my house toward the side and back of the Lilas house.]"

"We made our way around the Lilas house toward where we saw the kid run. We got to the back and found the back door open. I went inside and woke up Carlie and Emilie. They quickly came out and we checked the rooms. Three girls were missing. We started searching for them outside around the house in the darkness. My cell phone flashlight was almost useless, so I ran back to my house to grab my much brighter head lamp. On my way across the yard, I ran into Lauren with the three girls who had decided to turn themselves in."

After figuring out that the kid running across the yard was a girl who had run back to her bed in the Lilas house, thinking she was getting away with sneaking out, we determined the four girls who had snuck out of the house. They were trying to go to the store near Familia Feliz, which doesn't make much sense, considering it was after 11pm. Director Max was called, and he came to talk to each girl. It was a long night and I didn't end up getting in bed until after 1am. I had a difficult time falling asleep as I was a little bit shaken up from the whole experience of not knowing who was looking in my windows and sneaking around outside my house late at night.

Some serious talking with Teacher Max at midnight after the girls snuck out

I made bread with Carlie. She has some amazing cooking skills!

And hid it in my bed from the bugs and the girls until it was ready to be served for a meal

Day off fun

Joint lunch with the Lilas house on Lauren and Emilie's day off

We fed an army!

Although I do not remember the exact morning, I was sitting up in my bed about to get out of bed and just thinking. To be completely honest, it is those moments that are some of the hardest. Because I never know what a day is going to hold, my heart can get really anxious in the mornings as I step out of bed to face the day. That is why I need my time with Jesus so much! It resets my heart with peace and rest in the sustaining power of God to get me through every challenge that the day will bring. After getting ready for the day and having worship, my heart is filled with more peace than anxiety. 

Anyways, it was one of those mornings that I was sitting in bed thinking about my girls and the challenges of the previous days. In that moment I was overwhelmed with frustration at the existence of sin. Sin is why my girls are like this. Sin is why they have unthinkable experiences and family situations that resulted in them living here. Sin is the reason why a place like this even has to exist. I was sad and upset at the evil in the world. However, in that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke truth to my heart. Suddenly I had the loud and strong thought that yes, this place exists because of sin, but even more importantly, THIS PLACE EXISTS BECAUSE OF JESUS!! 

My mindset shifted in that moment. Instead of focusing on the existence of Familia Feliz because of the horrible brokenness of the world, I thought about the hope we have in Jesus. Because of Jesus, people have love in their hearts to start an orphanage in rural Bolivia so that these kids do not have to live and starve in the streets. Because of Jesus, a safe haven from abusive and neglectful family members has been provided for these children. Because of Jesus, Familia Feliz exists to give broken children the opportunity to know God, love Him, and choose to serve Him with their lives. Jesus is the reason Familia Feliz exists, and rather than focusing on the sadness of the sin that broke the children here, I instead seek to focus on who Jesus. He is the only one who can offer the hope these kids (and I!) need to keep going every day. May I be filled with His hope, love, and joy every day. And may they see that in me and desire the same thing. Thank you, Jesus, that, because of who You are, Familia Feliz exists to give these kids a second chance at life and an opportunity to choose You.

These sandwiches were so amazing!!!

Aiden helping Raica take out her tooth

Baby Santiago

Morning journaling while Justin fixes our table

Pinkie and her beetle

I was matching with Marianely (my oldest). She hates pictures, so I was glad she agreed to this photo. :)

They got into some petos (basically bees) and got some charcoal from Teacher Sophia to help.

A leaf crown from Nirza :)

Beautiful morning sky!

A message from Ticiane for me with the tomatoes for the arepas...

(In English) "Teacher Kelsey, I love you." <3

This was definitely a longer post with maybe too many photos, but thanks for making it this far. I appreciate the interest and support. Thank you also for the many messages of encouragement. I feel like I say it every time, but I can't say thank you enough. I am 100% a words of affirmation person, and the little messages of encouragement mean so much, and God often uses them to uplift my spirits. Thank you!

Lamentations 3:22-23

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Soli Deo Gloria